Getting What You Deserve

Every woman deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it, holds her tight like he never wants to let go, doesn’t cheat, wipes her tears when she cries, doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her, is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really loves her….. Repost if you agree…

 

I’ve been seeing this pop up on a few people’s status messages on Facebook today, and it allows me to expound on a subject near and dear to my heart; it lets me rant about a pet peeve. 

I would never repost such a thing.  And, when I go into my strong opinions as to why, I am sure I will get criticised. However, I’m still going to share, because I feel strongly that, while the great throng of men (specifically husbands) do not need me to defend them, I, as a woman, am willing to both be brutally honest and be supportive of the other side of the story. And, there most definitely is another side!

 See, I cannot imagine a status message coming out which reads something like:

 

Every man (specifically husband) deserves a woman (wife) who treats him with respect, encourages his dreams, allows him to be a man, regularly falls on her knees in front of him and rocks his world, regularly meets him at the door and delivers more than just a promise (that later is likely to get broken by “a headache” or some other lame excuse), doesn’t make him jealous of other men but goes out of her way to give him bragging rights with other men (making them wish they had wives like her), gives him no time to even look at another woman because she knows exactly what he wants and delights in giving it to him: she knows him so well, loves and desires and needs and wants him so much and knows if she wants him to respond to her like she wants him to she’s gotta give in order to receive……Repost if you agree…

 

 In other words, this woman doesn’t get the cart before the horse, and she doesn’t just expect all that stuff in the  “every woman (wife) deserves message” unless she’s ready and willing to do what’s in the “every man (husband) deserves message”!   See, I’m tired of all the people who think the ball is always in the man’s court and that they have to earn certain things from their wives. There are women who tend to think that sex is something they pay their husband IF – and only IF – their husband doesn’t annoy them, instead of seeing it for what it is: a need.

 Now, I realise I have a slight advantage over many women, in that I have I have a higher than average sex-drive than the average female.  But, even if you find yourself in the average category, I still don’t see how this excuses you. Sex isn’t a favour. It’s not a weapon. It shouldn’t be withheld when he isn’t changing like you think he should change and it shouldn’t be given as a reward for when he does change or do what you want him to do. You should desire it as much as he does, but even if you don’t desire it as intensely, darlin’, I can promise you that by giving in this area you are the one who will win, because he is much more likely to bend in areas for you if you will rock his world in areas for him. But, as much as I’d like to camp on sex, this isn’t only about sex.

This is about not being a controlling, nagging, non-encouraging, manipulating woman (wife).  It’s about not using emotional blackmail to manipulate and control and emasculate your husband, just as it is about not using sex as leverage.  It’s about respect. Because, Sweet Cheeks, if you want  – or think you deserve – all that stuff in the first message, then you must deserve it, indeed. You aren’t entitled to it unless you are willing to do and be the second message.

So, I wonder how many people would repost it if I posted a message like the one I have written here in this blog on the mighty Facebook. I bet a great many of men would, but, unfortunately, I also suspect they’d get attacked for doing it. I know a few extremely rare and beautiful women – who I love dearly – who would do it, as well.  But, I know a great many more who will be offended and angry at me and, most likely, hit me with, “How dare you?”  Even sadder yet will be the men who defend such women. And, for those of you who do that, I would suggest that you are getting exactly what you deserve!

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2 responses to “Getting What You Deserve

  1. I don’t repost anything on FB but I definitely wouldn’t repost that one. You know that I am of an extremely like mind as you. *hugs* Thank you for putting words to the feelings that a few of us truly understand.

  2. I agree absolutely. I have been on the other end of the emotional blackmail and withholding sex thing (husband no 1 once refused to have sex with me because I had left an empty milk bottle on the sink and forgotten to rinse it out lol). I remember a (male) friend of mine ranting about the Message in a Bottle film cos his wife said "why can’t all women have a sensitive, loving sexy Kevin Costner" and he said "until you turn into a sensitive loving sexy Michelle Pfeiffer you have no right to even suggest you deserve one" (their relationship was on the rocks and they split up shortly after). But yes, the pleasure and happiness and fulfillment of a relationship comes from the giving just as much as the receiving – whether the giving is sex, respect, strength, support, love or hot buttered toast.

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