Thoughts Spilled From A Brain Left Ajar

I was inspired by this man and his vlog to try vlogging again.  But, sheesh, it takes longer to edit and upload the video than it does just to write a blog post, so while I’ve said this is episode 1 of ‘Thoughts Spilled From A Brain Left Ajar’, who knows when and if there will be an episode two.  This is a raw, intimate look at the real me and what I struggle with daily.  Anywho, with no further ado…

One response to “Thoughts Spilled From A Brain Left Ajar

  1. In my world, if you don’t get better from what they give you to take and tell you to do, you’re not motivated. You don’t want to get better. You’re not trying. You can’t be in the program to get better because you’re wasting a seat.
    It’s never that the treatment is wrong, always that I’m not trying.
    In Alberta, scrambling my head with a magnet isn’t covered by health care, but it exists. I can’t get anyone to refer me for it, though. They say if I tried, I’d be better, and I’m just looking for a way out of trying.
    The thing is… Scrambling my brains until they aren’t recognizable (worst case scenario of that treatment I guess) doesn’t sound too bad. I think the worst case would be it doing nothing.
    The outcome of my psych visit was that I’ve been on so many meds that changing makes no sense. What they can do is clearly very limited. I’m supposed to go out and find a privately paid psychologist and try and take the snarled, matted knot that is my life and try and comb it out through years of talking to something smooth and silky and pretty. I think you’ll understand when I say I’m far too tired to find such a person, let alone do that work.
    I wish giving up was an option. Can we at least be dumped in the same institution?

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