Kegels and Kindness – a plan for 2016

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When life gives you lemons it is, then, perfectly acceptable to make lemonade. However, when life kicks you in the teeth, lemonade just isn’t the answer. You find yourself bleeding and missing teeth, the last thing you’re going to feel like doing is make some bloody lemonade.

The problem with these sayings like, ‘Life is what you make of it’ and the ever-detestable (gag, barf) ‘That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, is that they simply aren’t true.

2015 is gone now.  For me, it actually wasn’t a horrendous year. There were some really good bits.  There was a whole lot of hell, too.  But, interspersed in there, there was some truly decent stuff. I made more music and had my music appreciated by more people. I met some cool people and I became closer with a friend who has proven to be a real lifeline in hard times – a fellow battler of mental illness himself, we share a bond over the squishiness of brain and body. I wish he lived closer, but I have long accepted the fact that the best of my friends will always seem to dwell on the other side of the planet from me.

And, here is 2016.  I don’t do resolutions.  They’re stupid. I have some plans, yeah.  But, I have learned to be resolved to nothing. Stuff/life/shit changes too much to be resolved. So, here are the plans:

There are only TWO exercises worth doing: vocal exercises and Kegels (aka pelvic floor exercise). You can waste your time and money in the gym if you want to and stay in competition with society and media’s insane ideals, or you can come to the side of good sense and do what you can instead of what is ridiculous. You can skip the vocal exercises if you aren’t a singer, but I’d still suggest doing them.  They will do you more (longterm) good than any crunch or press up ever would. Why? Just humour me and try it. You’ll see. And, everyone should do Kegels. A strong pelvic floor will guard against incontinence and, as a (BIG) side benefit, increase sexual pleasure.  Plan number one is to do some vocal exercises and Kegels everyday.

Practise mindfulness. This is a form of meditation for everyone that simply helps one appreciate the present more. I’ve practiced mindfulness, off and on, for a couple of years now.  Like most things, it’s difficult to stay consistent; thus the reason resolutions are so pointless. So, I’m setting a reachable goal of just 5-10 minutes a day. That’s plan numero two.

The world is full of hate and sorrow; be kind. Try offering kindness instead of throwing out more hate. Look, I don’t like people very much either.  Humans, as we have concluded, are stupid. But, kindness goes a long way to counteract the great idiocy out there. Why add hate to all the stupidity when there’s another choice? So, that’s number three: looking for ways to show more kindness. I have a strong suspicion that the making of music and the practice of kindness is the cure for many, many of the world’s ills.

Lemonade is fine, if all you’ve got is lemons. But, squirting your lemonade on me isn’t kindness; that shit stings when you’re the walking wounded. Let’s try being real in 2016. Let’s be kind. Let’s be mindful. Let’s do Kegels (then we won’t pee on each other…’cuz if you’re into that, you’re just wrong).

Happy New Year.

 

(And, yes, I’ve done my Kegels today – along with the other stuff, too – have you?)

 

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I don’t have a title for this…it’s just a post about how I am right now.

I’ve often explained that depression is NOT sadness. It’s more of a pervasive weariness, an extreme exhaustion…of everything. When I get tired, it’s more difficult than ever to see anything but what’s wrong with life.

I am very tired right now.  Physically, I am drained.  Is it age? Crappy health? I’m actually exercising more than ever (thanks to Ingress geting me out walking most every day), but it doesn’t matter the form of exercise, it never leaves me with that endorphin lift all the experts (and gym nuts – you know who YOU are!) swear everyone gets.  No, not everyone does get a lift from exercise.  Some of us just feel more pain than usual.  However, my Ingress obsession has kept me active despite feeling like total poo.

I’m not singing either. It’s like I can’t be bothered. Can’t be bothered to do vocal exercises or take care of my voice. It’s almost like I began to be as apathetic as the majority of the world when it comes to my talent. “Oh, you don’t want to discover how great I am? You don’t want to hear me? Yeah, well…fine. Really.”

It’s sort of scary, because I’ve never really been this far down – so down that I no longer care about my music and, specifically, my voice…and, I really do not care.

I’m tired.

Life is just so… hard.

I want to rest.

Alas… another day comes… and, trudge, trudge, trudge… oh, look, another portal!

Oh, yeah…and, I know., I usually post some sort of arty visual with my blog posts but… I couldn’t be bothered to do that either.  I only had enough energy for the words. You all know what I look like by now anyway.

I’m Partial To The 5th One Down (a rant)

I saw this posted on Twitter today.

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Oh, I would certainly use number 5 on a regular basis.

It has to be my biggest social media pet-peeve (after poor grammar and bad spelling, that is): women talking about how much weight they have to lose and those gym/exercise nuts (in their asinine attempts to disguise their vanity and insistence to conform to media’s and society’s standards by calling it “fitness” or a “health kick”) who post (brag) about every run and every single workout as if it’s some blinkin’ virtue.

Poo of the bull! You are are full of it.

You are fishing for attention and it’s no more about health than it is about an elephant. Get real. Stop deceiving yourself and everyone else (well, you’re obviously not fooling me) and admit it.

Then, after you’ve done us all (including you) a favour (called it what it is and have stopped bombarding the rest of us with it), go on and “enjoy” that legs, bums and tums class, if you want to. Just keep the bovine excrement (about health and fitness) out of your statuses and remember that no one but you (and, perhaps, your personal trainer) care about a blow by blow report of each and every time you exercise!

Rant over…well, for the moment anyway.