Colours True (and a word about regeneration)

Firstly, please turn up your volume.

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For me, the original version of this song is the best. But, this picture and quote that I put up on my Facebook Page yesterday inspired this rendition of the song True Colours you are listening to now (or, you are if you turned your volume on/up as you were requested to).

This subject of knowing and being yourself, is at once so simple and so deep.

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I am presently going through what I call a regeneration (those of you who are Whovians will automatically get the reference) which began at the close of last year and is continuing on.  If you aren’t a Doctor Who fan…well, I feel very sorry for you…  um… leave now and go do whatever it is non-Whovians do.  Moving right along…  Regeneration.

When I posted this image on my FB page, I wrote this:

I’m regenerating.
It’s a process.
It isn’t just for Time Lords.
It can be painful…
but it is necessary in order to continue living.
I can’t promise you what you’re going to get.
But, the time has come…
and I AM regenerating.

This year I feel that, in and out, I am becoming myself. The outward display of that are the new tattoos and piercings. The inward display (the most important) is in my comittment to cultivate awareness and live in the present. In other words, meditation and mindfulness.

It’s about not diluting my colours for anything or anyone. It’s remembering. Discovering. It’s awareness. That with undiluted hues I may leave my mark on the world – not a watered down, dirty smudge, but a vibrant, beautiful work of true artistry.

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A Sky Full of Music

Turn up your volume, please.

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I could write, and tell you how I’m feeling. Blog it all out. I have so many, many things to say – stories to tell, experience to share. Stuff and more stuff. Aging superhero (aka musician), strugging with life, illness, trying to cope, trying to cultivate awareness (living present in the moment), trying…failing…trying…  or, I could do what I do and just give you this. Because, right now, this here says it all, and it is how I say it best. Always.

Fuck Resolutions

Pardon the language…but, I like the word (a lot) and, hopefully, it got your attention. Anywho…I suppose, that today (and tomorrow), blogdom will be inundated with New Year’s posts.  There will be the saying goodbye to the old and welcoming (with varying attitudes) the new.

Nothing magical happens when the clock strikes Midnight on New Year’s Eve.  If one can’t choose to change stuff in one’s life in the middle of a year, one is not suddenly going to do it on January 1st. It’s just another day.

I don’t do resolutions.  It’s just another way to set one’s self up for failure.  However, since this is the way we mark time… I would like to wish us ALL a better year than the last. Whether 2013 was a great year or (as in my case) a painful one, may there be massive improvement in 2014! May situations be used as opportunities to learn. May there be real personal growth. May there be awareness and living in the present.

ImagineThere is NO power in resolutions, but there IS power in the imagination….soooooo, I invite you to IMAGINE such a new year with me. Imagine a Happy New Year…

Escape Versus Freedom

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I’m really trying to stay in the present and “enjoy” reality. But…it isn’t easy when reality sucks and I suck and everything in my soul cries out for escape. But, escape is a band-aid on a gaping wound. I need saving, healing, deliverance and freedom, yes. But escape is none of those things. Delving into and entertaining my flights of fancy are not the answer, I know, but…

I guess, the gaping wound/band-aid analogy isn’t quite right. It’s more like cancer and morphine: fantasy (escape), the pain-killer…for a while – momentarily, but not a lasting cure. And, as morphine is addictive…

Thus, today, in pain, while my heart prays for freedom, my soul (and body) longs for escape…and everything in me pleads, “No more pain.”