“An Overgrowth of Pain – A Self Portrait”
I feel sad today. I’m physically unwell, a nasty cold/flu virus scuppering my plans for the day as well as just working to make me feel worn down. I also, once again, have questions about my ability to keep friends.
It’s not all bad: my beautiful husband got me a cool new scull coffee mug to replace my previous fave mug that got broken a couple of weeks ago. I’m so grateful for him. A mug isn’t a big deal (coffee is a big deal, but I won’t digress here), but his loving, giving thoughtfulness and care of me is huge.
The weepiness persists, though. Exhaustion and this…this battering, bruising sadness.
It’s just another thing. It will eventually lift, or I’ll get used to it. But, yeah…life, I don’t like it. It never knows when to let up, to stop hitting…relentless fucker.
Paint me in the colours of music: flat, sharp, subtle and bold.
Keys of black and white tell a story that is anything – everything – but.
Nothing so tidy, nothing so clear-cut…
something so imperfect and painful becomes a melody.
And chaos is just the prelude to the exquisite, the graceful madness.
A tale of sadness. Wednesday’s child.
It’s my story. It’s my portrait.
These are my colours.
© Autumn Dawn Leader 2014