Watch “Is It Me You’re Looking For? (The answer-phone message for those of us whom phone calls make ill)” on YouTube

I’m not really sure if my inability to cope with phone calls is more to do with the avoidant personality disorder or with the social anxiety. Whichever or both, I don’t do phone calls. And so…this is my new answerphone/voicemail message.

Scattered Bits and Pieces

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I only write today to put down some of what I’m feeling.

Anger.

I suppose this anger has its root in resistance, in wishing things to be other than they are…wishing myself other than I am.

My frazzled, anxious state. I detest feeling this way, but this is the way it is.

Anger at my inability, my disability, dysfunction.

I slightly changed my voicemail message. A while back I recorded a message telling callers, basically, “I don’t make or answer phone calls; hang up and text.” I re-recorded the message today, using my improving accent.

I get a lot of automated calls, so no matter what the message says, it won’t make a difference to those.

Sometimes, I get a call from “private number”.  I wonder who’s on the other end of that line. But, while curious, I don’t spend too much time thinking about it; if they wanted to reach me, they’d text – or, as I said in my re-recorded message today, use a carrier pigeon or send a smoke signal.

I know I’m getting worse, and it makes me want to withdraw more. I dread any social encounter; my nerves are frayed.